[Varka is rapidly losing control of the situation. Not a bad thing, necsessarily — he appreciates that Nicole's confidence has been bolstered. But at the same time, it's keeping him from putting on the moves properly. He had plans for how this was going to go and -
Static floods into his mind as she curls around him, followed by a disorienting wave of desire as her body slides against his. He almost doesn't process how she teases him, lost in a half-cooked fantasy as he is. He is half tempted to lift her up and take her like this, solely within his arms but -
No, no that wouldn't be proper. That isn't what he wants.
Instead, he wraps an arm around her waist, bringing her firmly to his body as he all but flops onto the bed. He uses his free arm to brace himself, hopefully keeping from squashing Nicole entirely. But at least this way, the advantage is his once again.]
No, no. I think you're plenty prepared. Plenty - ready for me.
[It takes remarkably little strength to position her once more, legs once against pushed apart by his own. He leans up, taking hold of himself properly. Even his own touch elicits a shiver from him, and he has to breathe deep to clear the haze in his mind.
Only then does he guide himself forward, sliding teasingly once, then twice against her, before positioning himself properly.]
[ Any pretense of feeling apologetic for derailing Varka's carefully laid intentions goes firmly by the wayside when he drags her against him. The hard line of his forearm pressing against her skin, firm and unyielding, would be more than enough to whet her appetite without the forward motion immediately after. Nicole gasps as she is effectively pinned to the bed beneath Varka's body weight.
Breathless laughter leaves her before she can entirely stop it. Varka's impatience is both a balm to her senses and a lit match held to her nerves. He wants her as sorely as she wants him. He cannot bear to wait a moment longer, the same as her. ]
Good –. [ She gasps, trying and failing to not sound as accomplished as she feels. ] I thought so too.
[ She moans for the simple sake of it when his legs push hers apart. Though she would never have imagined it prior to this night spent together, the sheer difference in their respective volume and physical strength does excite her.
How easily Varka had trapped her beneath him, had shoved her open so he could regain his control over the situation…
Her head spins. The first brush of him only exacerbates it: warm and heady, weighty enough that if she could flex her hips just right she could surely coax him in… a frustrated sound ekes into their connection as she struggles to writhe, hair shifting across the sheets.
[The faint under current of smugness that layers Nicole's voice should irritate him. Instead, he feels only playful exasperation. It's hard not to, when he has the upper hand, even if part of him knows he's played right to Nicole's plans. He doesn't mind being pulled by her strings, though. Not when it works out so well for him.]
Please - what?
[It's hard for him to keep his composure, pressed against her as he is. If he wanted to, he could drive himself home. Instead, he opts to tease - shallow brushes that barely so much as enter her. And if it works to his advantage in further loosening her, that's all the better. He is, after all, very aware of his size.]
Always so good with your words, Nicole. Lemme hear em now.
[Some part of him balks at his own teasing, for it only thins his already fraying resolve. But it's worth it. He wants to hear her say it.]
[ It is to his credit that he is not irritated, because Nicole makes a sound that is dangerously close to an exasperated, thready whine when Varka rocks forward and… only skims over her entrance. For every individual time that he shifts his hips and slips against her, Nicole makes an increasingly demanding noise and, as desired, becomes a small amount looser. Even if she tries to clench around open air every time he comes close.
Consternation and exertion both knit her brow. It is hard to truly feel exasperated when this all still feels this good… and especially when the timbre of Varka's voice suits that exact type of teasing so well.
She makes a mental note of it. Maybe she could convince him to read a set of lines she writes out… but, would it have the same devastating impact when they were clearly contrived? Perhaps it was simply better to request he say lines that came from the heart – or, in this regard, somewhere a bit southward of the heart.
Focus, Nicole! She forces herself to exhale, slow and shivery. Embarrassment and desire war in equal measure. It is a simple request, on paper… but with his attention so riveted on her, and his body so close… and his expectations sounded high! What if she failed to entice in the exact proper moment that required it? ]
Please, Varka… [ Oh, gosh, how embarrassing. Her voice almost sounds weak from want even to her own mental ears. ] Won't you… please, take me? I need you. I need this. Show me – what I can have, now that we are free?
[He should have known he was playing a dangerous game, asking for this. Not only does he feel strung tighter than a bowstring, but Nicole's words also strike a deep-seated emotion within him. After all, this is more than a heated, physical affair. Varka wouldn't be here if not for his feelings for her.
He wouldn't have risked his very life invoking the names of the shades to prove they were safe, after all.
So the fact that she mentions their freedom, the very thing he's written stories about within his head? How can he say no. Doubtless, Nicole will see that resolve crumble in real time, a level of vulnerability plain in his gaze before he averts it once more.]
Like I said. Anything for you, Nicole.
[He does not keep her waiting.... much. Though he moves forward, the pace is still steady and careful. He will not have it be said that he let his emotions get the better of him. He will not let Nicole walk away from this having felt unpleasant at any moment.
Even if it is difficult. He clutches at the bed beside Nicole's head, suppressing a shudder as he moves. It's a wonder he does not tear holes in the sheets right about now.]
[ In many ways, it is a relief to see that it is her heartfelt feelings that shatter the guise of his teasing. In the breath of a moment that she is able to pinpoint the emotion in his eyes, Nicole feels more at ease than she has likely ever felt.
If his touch earlier had felt like a culmination, this is a realization. A promise. Varka starts to push inward and the stretch of him is unlike anything she has felt. Even the pretense of his fingers, as careful and exacting as he had been about his preparation, could not truly prepare her for this.
She regrets nothing. She forces her breathing to slow, forces herself to relax: she wants to accept every inch of him as wholeheartedly as she can, without an iota of hesitation. He takes his time and she provides no resistance to make the slide that much easier for him. Though the discomfort is far more significant than it had been with his fingers, she knows without a shred of doubt that it will be worth it.
…Besides, Varka's visible struggle is also stroking her just the right way. The veins in his forearms, the white-knuckled grip on the sheets… she curls her fingers around his wrists and sighs, the sound fluttering and earnest and wanton. ]
[He knows this isn't easy on her. To hell with his struggle when it came to desire, Nicole is having to shoulder both that and the stretch of him. It cannot be pleasant, and the thought almost makes him feel guilty. While it's a relief to hear her "voice" and feel her fingers on his skin, he wonders if it's enough.
Gingerly, he leans downward, once more pressing his lips to hers. It isn't an urgent kiss, and it isn't terribly deep. Instead, it's a reminder. He's right here with her. He wants to be here. And he'll do what he can to make it as gentle as possible.
He breaks the kiss only a few seconds later, murmuring:]
You feel how well you're doing? Lucky I don't fall apart right here, because of you. [A shiver works through him.] That's all you! How about that?
[He doesn't wait to return to kissing her. There are advantages to having her voice within his head.]
[ Again, she finds herself deeply grateful for Varka's emotional intelligence. Though she may not have been able to preemptively understand the need herself, the closeness of the kiss turns out to be sorely needed. It tethers her in the moment, reassures her that this discomfort was only temporary.
She trusts Varka not to do her harm. Her fingers falteringly find his face, anchoring her with the heat and touch of his skin.
When he starts talking to her, it does prove an apt distraction. She smiles at first, strained but genuine. Then she laughs. Her hands fully curl round his face when he leans back down to kiss her, holding him in the same breath as clinging to him. ]
Thank you for – the encouragement. You may take as much time as you need. I –.
[ Her fingers tighten, pressing that small bit more into Varka's skin. ] I am right where I want to be. I am doing what I want to be doing – and I could ask for nothing more in this moment than for you.
And you have me. [A groan rises up his throat, and he doesn't bother to stifle it. He grins, almost sheepishly, in the wake of it.] Every inch of me.
[his hips ease back in the slightest, then inch forward in a shallow thrust. Archons, it feels like it's taking an eternity. Nicole feels impossibly warm around him, the sensation so dizzying that it's a wonder he's able to maintain his senses.
The hand nearest her head shifts, folding onto its side so that he can stroke his thumb over her temple, and then into her hair.]
I ever tell you how beautiful you are? Not just like this — though trust me, you're plenty radiant right now. Just - mnn - in general.
[ There are many things she is grateful to have experienced in her exceptionally long life. Being wrapped up with Varka so intimately, so carefully? It easily graces the list. Though she is struggling to stay entirely rooted in the moment, it is Varka in his entirety that grounds her: the flush of red across his face. The vibrant, brilliant blue of his eyes on her. The weight of his body on top of hers, and the heat that builds in the precious space between them. She catalogues it all with a distracted mind and tucks it safely into her memory, a shining pearl of recollection.
That first, shallow thrust intensifies the heat in her stomach more than she ever thought possible. Though her head shifts into motion as if to throw itself back onto the mattress, it instead lists almost instinctively into his touch. Her mouth works around each individual breath, painted a pretty pink by their kissing and her exertion.
It morphs into an open-mouthed smile for a second at his compliment. Her lashes flutter. Somehow, amidst it all, she still finds it within herself to tease. ]
Mmh. Only in jest, as I recall. Or to ward off my anger.
[ She sweeps one hand down to thumb over the bridge of his nose. The shape of his browbone. Down, to the corner of his lips. ]
You are beautiful too. Or maybe I should – say handsome? Dashing?
[The longer Varka watches Nicole, the more his heart begins to skip and pound. Every minute twitch or shift in her expression sends affection through him — the effect not unlike electro being straight through his chest. Suddenly, all the ballads and poems seemed to make sense.
Which is a hell of a thing to consider, given his current position.
Yet somehow just that simple smile threatens to be his very undoing. Varka's expression wobbles, and he tips his head down to kiss the corner of her mouth.]
Should make a habit of it. Regularly, I mean.
[His face follows her hand wherever it goes, desperate for just an ounce more of affection.]
You could call me whatever you wanted, I think. [He huffs once, an almost awkward smile forming on his lips. His body shifts, another thrust pressing him further into her. Something molten coils within his gut, already dangerously hot.] Still - still doing ok?
[ That deep affection, somehow, deepens at the tremulous shift in Varka's expression. It is a drop in an increasingly growing fount. For a creature crafted to love humanity, to feel deep appreciation for mortalkind, it comes both naturally and hard-fought. In many ways, this moment almost makes it all worth it.
Nicole turns her head to meet his lips, if only for a moment. ]
I wouldn't mind that.
[ Laughter blooms and redirects the heat, even as Varka pushes further into her. She feels it saturate her being, from every point of their contact. For one blinding breath, she wishes to never be separate from this warmth. The pleasure suffuses her so utterly that to imagine being without it… ]
Mmh. What would you – like for me to call you? Surely – such stuffy titles and formalities would no longer suit us, so –.
[ Though she knows that is not what he meant, she asks the question regardless. She wants to know what he will say.
That same pressure from earlier is building within her again. She does not want this to end prematurely; she wants to experience every inch of Varka, to the fullest amount that she can. The discomfort has transitioned into a feeling that seems almost insatiable. Though she is almost loathe to disrupt the fragility of this heartfelt moment, she almost cannot help herself. ]
I feel good. [ She sighs it into his mind, breathless and thready and needy. ] Better – better than good. I need all of you. Ideally, before it is too late.
[What a question. If his head wasn't already spinning from the overwhelming amount of sensation running through him, then it certainly would be now. It certainly adds a level of official to their relationship. Not that Varka would balk at such a thing. He had meant every word he'd said about tying them together. But asking for a word to define all of that - ]
The usual titles don't seem to fit us, huh? [Calling an angel his girlfriend, or she using the word boyfriend seemed so inappropriate, but nothing else comes to mind. Probably because most of the blood has left his brain by now.] Can I - take a rain check. Only because I don't want to say something stupid.
[And he's already said so many stupid things this evening, hasn't he?]
I know, I know. I'm working on it. [He's getting closer by now. Another thrust, another slide - and then a pause to shudder as another jolt rocks through him.] 'm almost there.
[In more ways than one. It's an incredibly humbling thing to admit, considering the way he might have normally bragged about his prowess and stamina. Being made to wait as long as he had had done a number on him, apparently!
Still, he manages to keep himself together as he moves forward that last little bit, bottoming out within her with a shuddering breath.]
[ Though it is likely a little mean, Nicole starts to laugh. It isn't meant unkindly, genuinely. More than anything, she is delighted by all of this. The novelty of it, the fumbling of it, the way they must commit to figuring it out rather than her already knowing! How beautiful it is, for something to be new and uncharted territory. ]
Not – mmh. Not quite. I almost want to ask you to say what came to mind first, but –.
[ The more time she spends with Varka, the more about him she finds worth cherishing. The distracted sound of his voice, the furrow in his brow, the curl of his hair across his forehead as he exerts himself. The way his body shudders in pleasure. She treasures him. She wants, more than anything, to hide him away from even the distant eye of the Heavenly Principles. She wants him all for herself.
She's still laughing when he bottoms out, but the realization of it transitions the sound into a helpless, overcome moan. Her fingers trip over his face in search of a lifeline, anchoring at his jaw. Abruptly, all she can do is clutch at him, sensate and shuddering. ]
Oh –. [ She has to force her eyes open. She was unaware she had even closed them. Her abdomen tenses, and it sends a bolt of pleasure through her so sharp that she twitches. ] Yes – there you are. There you are.
[That her laughter remains so bright and warm is probably the only reason he doesn't balk at her. That, and he feels unbelievably, incredibly good like this. Even the coldest of laughter might not have been enough to break the seeming enchantment that's been laid upon him.]
You definitely - don't want that. I'd say something stupid.
[And he wants the right thing to come out, as far as Nicole goes.
While Nicole's fingers flail and find his face, now that he's no longer trying to guide himself in, he's able to seek out her hand. He tightens their fingers together, pressing them down against the mattress. He holds still for a moment, trying to both adjust and let her adjust in kind.]
Right here, Nicole. Always right here.
[It's a promise, in and of itself. He would not ask Nicole to give this without a commitment in kind. They're spiting the very gods, after all. She needed a promise that he'd remain with her.]
I'm gonna move now, okay?
[He doesn't keep her waiting. He draws himself out, then thrusts back in. It's a relatively slow motion, one to help her adjust to the sensation, rather than to drive her toward any sort of finish.]
[ Nicole thinks she could get used to being pressed down into the mattress by Varka. Across all her limbs, all her appendages… when he laces their fingers together and pushes them down against the bed, a lick of fiery heat travels up her spine so quickly that she's nearly lightheaded from it. It certainly isn't helping that his heartfelt, romantic declaration washes over her like molten lava.
She believes him. Against all odds, in spite of everything she has learned about humanity over the course of thousands of years, she wholeheartedly believes him. He had spoken their name to convince her of her freedom, and that he pledges himself to her now…
A true knight. Though a part of her almost wants to start laughing again, she is far too distracted to even consider it.
And even though he makes an effort to move slowly, she is so – full, and overwhelmed, and immersed in syrupy pleasure that she makes a sound that feels punched out of her regardless. Her shoulders and spine flex as she arches partway off the bed, unable to get much leverage due to the position of her legs.
It feels good. Better than his fingers inside her, or pressed down against her. He is everywhere, and it is perfect.
Before he can even begin to consider a second thrust, their connection is alive with the static of her stream of consciousness, shuddering and wanton. ]
You feel so, so, so perfect. It was worth the wait, worth everything, if you ever move from this bed I may very well set something alight, you are so very warm and utterly perfect and I did not realize how much I needed this until we were truly here. [ Then, strung together so quickly the syllables almost blur: ] Varka, Varka, Varka.
[A lesser man might have been overwhelmed by the sudden influx of thoughts within his head. Indeed, some part of himself is lost within the swirl, reveling in the sudden rush of adoration and passion. That part of him chuckles faintly at her threats, and thrills at her desire.
But one thing is for certain: the very fiber of his being swells beneath the chant of his name.]
Nicole. [His words are an echo in kind, each punctuated by a shallow thrust.] Nicole, Nicole.
[The cadence in his voice echoes her own sentiment, emotions not quite able to be put into proper words. Joy. Relief. Delight. There is also no denying the current of pleasure that pulses through them.]
Keep talking. I - [It sounds so embbarrassing, so humilating, but the least he can do is bare a part of himself in kind for the almost uncontrolled stream of consciousness flooding into his head.] I don't want to not hear your voice. Want you in the back of my head for as long as I can get it.
[Even if he does his best to simultaneously strike her speechless as he begins to set a proper rhythm, It isn't hard or fast, not yet — just a steady pace to put her through, well, the paces.]
[ The sound of his voice, vivid and audible and deep, echoing her name… the simultaneous motions of his hips… Varka is incredibly lucky that Nicole does not simply lose it there. She wants to hear that a hundred more times. A thousand, interspersed between his fervent breaths and each thrust of him deep within her.
He bids her to keep talking, and Nicole wonders if she would truly be capable of staying quiet. Varka may not be moving quickly, nor are his thrusts particularly deep as of yet, but the mere motion of his hips is striking her in places that her fingers could never reach.
With her head thrown back against the bed, she does as requested and speaks. Her voice is ragged already, shivering through the syllables as if he is plucking her down her very nerve endings. ]
It is – hard to focus as is, when you are moving like that. I never – never thought I would ever be able to experience something like this, and to experience it with such – such pleasure. You feel better than I ever could have imagined, better than –.
[ As if on cue, she finds herself clenching down around him. She wants him, wants all of him, wants to feel him lose control while buried deep within her. ]
Would it please you, to know the thought of this – bounced around in my head? That I have laid awake at night, scraping out seconds of windows of thoughts dedicated to how you might bed me? Perhaps – perhaps it was a little white lie, when I said I only – only ever explored myself to the thought of novels. Mmh.
[ Her voice takes on a distinctly teasing note, even as breathless as it is. ] I'll never tell.
[Her voice alone is doing wonderful, awful things to him. The fact that her nerves sound so frayed even within the confines of her mind is an incredible thing. He'd pat himself on the back, if his hands weren't so damn busy.]
Mmh, is that so? [The thought flits through his mind, and he lets out a deep groan. Thinking of her thinking of him with her fingers between her legs. It's almost enough to white out his vision, to crumble every bit of effort he's put into this whole affair.] Since when?
[Had it been back in Nod Krai? Or would that have been too risky? Had she turned her nose up at the threat and allowed herself an indulgence all the same? Or had it been here, rooms beside one another. If he had opened the door, could he have seen her at work?
Another shudder threatens his very balance. He needs to stop his mind from running.]
L-let me tell you. Stealing a moment away from camp, trying to find a quiet moment to think about you. And knowing that you and the others might just see - [That thought had thrilled him then, in the same vein that it had left him feeling ashamed.]
Better than I ever dreamed of though, that's for sure.
[The angle of his hips shifts, trying to drive himself in deeper with each motion.]
The way you say my name, your thoughts in my head - never could quite capture it just right.
[ The deeper they get, the more her pleasure blooms, the more his voice arouses her. He groans in her ear and Nicole practically starts shaking, mouth flexing around a set of syllables she can't vocalize. Since when, he asks, and she throws her mind back to those last few months they had spent working in tandem. Should she be truly honest? Does he truly need to know the longevity of her attraction for him?
Ultimately, she decides to be honest, if only because: her honestly will be just as attractive to him as the thought of her pleasuring herself to the idea of him, she surmises. After a few seconds of breathing unsteadily, she manages to work her mental voice up. ]
Since the moment you – accompanied the Traveler to come meet me in person, of course. That is why I – specified I was scraping out the seconds. Mnh. Shivering moments of squeezing my thighs together and trying to discern why I couldn't – focus. Eventually, well, push – push came to shove.
[ She gulps in air, face burning for two entirely different reasons. How shameless of her past self, she thinks, to be so bold about something so dangerous.
But, then… Varka was evidently doing the same. Near enough to camp for the threat of being caught to be a real possibility. Nicole's hand flexes against Varka's at the sudden crashing weight of renewed arousal. Ridiculously, she can feel herself get wetter around him. She clenches down at the exact moment he adjusts his angle, and –.
Oh. Whatever that is, whatever – sparkling lights practically bloom behind her eyelids, and Nicole doesn't quite moan as much as keen into their connection, writhing beneath his weight. She almost doesn't hear what he says, cannot quite thread together her mind enough to respond, because –. ]
O-oh, oh, um – I, am – tell me more. More, please.
[That early on? And after he'd made such a fool of himself? He finds himself laughing — delighted, mirthful, and certainly not unkind. What an honor, indeed.]
Who wouldn't be awestruck in your presence. The second I felt your voice in my mind, I knew you were something else. And the way you'd chatter on - [He tilts his head, laying kisses against her pulse.] Never mind the way you overpowered me with kuuvahki like it was nothing.
[His mind had run wild with it that night. Everything had gone belly up shortly after, but for a blissful moment:]
It's hard to find someone who can keep pace with me. [He draws his lips up to her jaw, working a mark there. Maybe if she brushed her hair right, it wouldn't be obvious. Or maybe they'd have some explaining to do. He doesn't care about that in the moment though. He can practically feel how close she is.
And maybe he's dangerously close to the edge himself.]
I thought about how we might - exchange words. Then, hah - maybe you'd bring me to my knees. I'd win you over, in the end, but we'd both know - you had the edge.
[He isn't sure if she's after the fantasy, or the reality of it all. It's why he supplements them both.]
It wasn't even my night to skip drinking, but I did anyway. Once everyone was too trashed to think straight, I snuck out to the edge. Not toward the lake, that - that felt wrong. But around toward the entrance, tucked between an old wall and the ledge.
Honestly, it was way quicker than I would have liked. Ended too soon and... even afterward. [His lips reach her ear as he drags his hips back, then rocks them forward equally as slow. He's dragging out these last seconds as much as he can.] I still thought of you. I'd tuck each moment away, too.
Until now, the best I felt was after we freed the moon, though. I imagined - [His thoughts threaten to wander, his body tightens. Even now, the memory is a vivid one, now punctuated by each drag of his hips.] how your power felt - wrapped around me for days.
[ Mentally, she makes a note to ask Varka to assist with any future novels involving sexually-charged and romantic scenes. Though, without the alluring rumble of his voice, the electricity in each scene might pale in comparison to the real thing.
Nicole practically whines the moment his mouth is on her skin, torn between two counterpoints: the sound of his voice detailing his attraction to her and the rasp of his lips against her. In this moment, lit like a live wire and with nowhere to run, his stubble feels heavenly. She wants it all over her. She wants it between her legs. ]
I wish - I wish I had seen it. To see the stalwart, accomplished Grand Master, pleasuring himself to the thought of me - my better judgement wouldn’t have won out. Even there, even then, I would have - would have wanted you.
[ Her mind thrills with opportunity. She doesn’t even complain as he sucks a mark onto a dangerously visible patch of skin. She only moans encouragingly, clenching around him. More. More. She wants to have memories of this day for hours. A day. A week. She cannot imagine going minutes without this from now on, let alone a week, or a year, or a thousand years. She will leave this room thinking of the next moment they can be this entangled again.
His lips brush her ear. Nicole shudders down to her very soul. The slow grind of him within her cannot begin to forestall the inevitable, hurried along by the very thing she asked for. She starts to shake in aborted little shivers, open-mouthed, lashes fluttering.
There is one shred of information she parses amidst all over: he mentions her power enveloping him. With what feels like the final vestiges of her sanity, she pulses her power between the thread of their tightly interlocked hands. As it washes over him, she whimpers fervently into his mind: ]
[What a thought that one is. It feels like something straight out of a novel — the beautiful heroine finding her way upon the desperate knight. Throwing caution to the wind in favor of passion and love — an outright flippant gesture thrown to the gods themselves.
That alone might have been enough to make him succumb. Indeed, his movements stagger in the slightest, a ragged breath wheezing out through clenched teeth.
But then the power, her power floods through him, and Varka finds himself undone. It is a good thing that he already had a mind to do what she was asking — her words barely register within his mind. His hips manage to snap once, twice on instinct, and then he comes apart.
His fingers clench around hers on one side, and into the bedsheets on the other. The noise that escapes him is low, but almost keening. It forms something close to her name.]
[ In many ways, utilizing her power in such a manner is both incredibly bold and incredibly unfair. The invigorating effect it would normally have has been intensified by the rampant surge in wild magic. That is only one thing to bear in mind; the other is that her divinely granted powers being used in an expression of passion is antithetical to what she was granted them for.
The rebellion is nearly as sweet as the flood of warmth and the sound that Varka makes just shy of her ear. As she had wished, she crests into heat and brilliance nearly in tandem with him. She clenches down around him as he clenches round her fingers, head thrown back against the mattress as she shakes so hard she worries, briefly, for the bed.
The sensation is, somehow, better than the first orgasm had been. She is fuller now, wrapped so closely round Varka that the lines between them almost seem to blur. There is a beauty in it, in the feeling of oneness. It is one she has not come close to since…
Satisfaction untangles any snaring thoughts. Brief melancholy gives way, easily, to a suffusive afterglow. When she sags back against the sheets her limbs feel leaden in a way they never have before. The weakness is as novel as the unabating warmth in her belly. The hand not curled around Varka's blindly gropes down his neck and shoulders, tripping over the shape of his musculature. She has to mark this moment down in her memory. She has to remember every minute detail, even as her mind feels like it's been lined with cotton.
The connection is quiet, for once. Nicole simply breathes. ]
[If Varka had thought his own climax had been a vibrant one, Nicole's is practically a supernova. Despite the sense of bliss that overcomes him, he is not fully unaware of Nicole's movements and motions. He feels the way her body tightens around him — in more aspects than one. Perhaps he even traces a few fleeting thoughts from their connection.
Or maybe that's his own mind, whirling with satisfaction. Adoration. Closeness.
Regardless, the first thing he truly becomes aware of is the stumbling fingers down his back. A shiver works through him as his senses return, and he finds himself blinking down at the beautiful, blissful face of one Nicole Reeyn. He might have thought she couldn't look any more radiant, and yet here she is — perfect in every aspect.
He can't help himself. He leans down to kiss her, gentle and mostly chaste. Given the silence between the two of them, it might take her a moment to come to. That's fine by him. He'll dote on her until then — nosing stray hair from her face as he works kisses across every inch of her face.]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2026-03-15 10:30 pm (UTC)Static floods into his mind as she curls around him, followed by a disorienting wave of desire as her body slides against his. He almost doesn't process how she teases him, lost in a half-cooked fantasy as he is. He is half tempted to lift her up and take her like this, solely within his arms but -
No, no that wouldn't be proper. That isn't what he wants.
Instead, he wraps an arm around her waist, bringing her firmly to his body as he all but flops onto the bed. He uses his free arm to brace himself, hopefully keeping from squashing Nicole entirely. But at least this way, the advantage is his once again.]
No, no. I think you're plenty prepared. Plenty - ready for me.
[It takes remarkably little strength to position her once more, legs once against pushed apart by his own. He leans up, taking hold of himself properly. Even his own touch elicits a shiver from him, and he has to breathe deep to clear the haze in his mind.
Only then does he guide himself forward, sliding teasingly once, then twice against her, before positioning himself properly.]
no subject
Date: 2026-03-15 11:20 pm (UTC)Breathless laughter leaves her before she can entirely stop it. Varka's impatience is both a balm to her senses and a lit match held to her nerves. He wants her as sorely as she wants him. He cannot bear to wait a moment longer, the same as her. ]
Good –. [ She gasps, trying and failing to not sound as accomplished as she feels. ] I thought so too.
[ She moans for the simple sake of it when his legs push hers apart. Though she would never have imagined it prior to this night spent together, the sheer difference in their respective volume and physical strength does excite her.
How easily Varka had trapped her beneath him, had shoved her open so he could regain his control over the situation…
Her head spins. The first brush of him only exacerbates it: warm and heady, weighty enough that if she could flex her hips just right she could surely coax him in… a frustrated sound ekes into their connection as she struggles to writhe, hair shifting across the sheets.
When he slides a second time, she moans again. ]
Please.
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Date: 2026-03-15 11:35 pm (UTC)Please - what?
[It's hard for him to keep his composure, pressed against her as he is. If he wanted to, he could drive himself home. Instead, he opts to tease - shallow brushes that barely so much as enter her. And if it works to his advantage in further loosening her, that's all the better. He is, after all, very aware of his size.]
Always so good with your words, Nicole. Lemme hear em now.
[Some part of him balks at his own teasing, for it only thins his already fraying resolve. But it's worth it. He wants to hear her say it.]
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Date: 2026-03-15 11:54 pm (UTC)Consternation and exertion both knit her brow. It is hard to truly feel exasperated when this all still feels this good… and especially when the timbre of Varka's voice suits that exact type of teasing so well.
She makes a mental note of it. Maybe she could convince him to read a set of lines she writes out… but, would it have the same devastating impact when they were clearly contrived? Perhaps it was simply better to request he say lines that came from the heart – or, in this regard, somewhere a bit southward of the heart.
Focus, Nicole! She forces herself to exhale, slow and shivery. Embarrassment and desire war in equal measure. It is a simple request, on paper… but with his attention so riveted on her, and his body so close… and his expectations sounded high! What if she failed to entice in the exact proper moment that required it? ]
Please, Varka… [ Oh, gosh, how embarrassing. Her voice almost sounds weak from want even to her own mental ears. ] Won't you… please, take me? I need you. I need this. Show me – what I can have, now that we are free?
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Date: 2026-03-16 12:36 am (UTC)He wouldn't have risked his very life invoking the names of the shades to prove they were safe, after all.
So the fact that she mentions their freedom, the very thing he's written stories about within his head? How can he say no. Doubtless, Nicole will see that resolve crumble in real time, a level of vulnerability plain in his gaze before he averts it once more.]
Like I said. Anything for you, Nicole.
[He does not keep her waiting.... much. Though he moves forward, the pace is still steady and careful. He will not have it be said that he let his emotions get the better of him. He will not let Nicole walk away from this having felt unpleasant at any moment.
Even if it is difficult. He clutches at the bed beside Nicole's head, suppressing a shudder as he moves. It's a wonder he does not tear holes in the sheets right about now.]
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Date: 2026-03-16 01:12 am (UTC)If his touch earlier had felt like a culmination, this is a realization. A promise. Varka starts to push inward and the stretch of him is unlike anything she has felt. Even the pretense of his fingers, as careful and exacting as he had been about his preparation, could not truly prepare her for this.
She regrets nothing. She forces her breathing to slow, forces herself to relax: she wants to accept every inch of him as wholeheartedly as she can, without an iota of hesitation. He takes his time and she provides no resistance to make the slide that much easier for him. Though the discomfort is far more significant than it had been with his fingers, she knows without a shred of doubt that it will be worth it.
…Besides, Varka's visible struggle is also stroking her just the right way. The veins in his forearms, the white-knuckled grip on the sheets… she curls her fingers around his wrists and sighs, the sound fluttering and earnest and wanton. ]
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Date: 2026-03-16 01:58 am (UTC)Gingerly, he leans downward, once more pressing his lips to hers. It isn't an urgent kiss, and it isn't terribly deep. Instead, it's a reminder. He's right here with her. He wants to be here. And he'll do what he can to make it as gentle as possible.
He breaks the kiss only a few seconds later, murmuring:]
You feel how well you're doing? Lucky I don't fall apart right here, because of you. [A shiver works through him.] That's all you! How about that?
[He doesn't wait to return to kissing her. There are advantages to having her voice within his head.]
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Date: 2026-03-16 02:40 am (UTC)She trusts Varka not to do her harm. Her fingers falteringly find his face, anchoring her with the heat and touch of his skin.
When he starts talking to her, it does prove an apt distraction. She smiles at first, strained but genuine. Then she laughs. Her hands fully curl round his face when he leans back down to kiss her, holding him in the same breath as clinging to him. ]
Thank you for – the encouragement. You may take as much time as you need. I –.
[ Her fingers tighten, pressing that small bit more into Varka's skin. ] I am right where I want to be. I am doing what I want to be doing – and I could ask for nothing more in this moment than for you.
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Date: 2026-03-16 03:16 am (UTC)[his hips ease back in the slightest, then inch forward in a shallow thrust. Archons, it feels like it's taking an eternity. Nicole feels impossibly warm around him, the sensation so dizzying that it's a wonder he's able to maintain his senses.
The hand nearest her head shifts, folding onto its side so that he can stroke his thumb over her temple, and then into her hair.]
I ever tell you how beautiful you are? Not just like this — though trust me, you're plenty radiant right now. Just - mnn - in general.
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Date: 2026-03-19 02:59 am (UTC)That first, shallow thrust intensifies the heat in her stomach more than she ever thought possible. Though her head shifts into motion as if to throw itself back onto the mattress, it instead lists almost instinctively into his touch. Her mouth works around each individual breath, painted a pretty pink by their kissing and her exertion.
It morphs into an open-mouthed smile for a second at his compliment. Her lashes flutter. Somehow, amidst it all, she still finds it within herself to tease. ]
Mmh. Only in jest, as I recall. Or to ward off my anger.
[ She sweeps one hand down to thumb over the bridge of his nose. The shape of his browbone. Down, to the corner of his lips. ]
You are beautiful too. Or maybe I should – say handsome? Dashing?
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Date: 2026-03-19 03:45 am (UTC)Which is a hell of a thing to consider, given his current position.
Yet somehow just that simple smile threatens to be his very undoing. Varka's expression wobbles, and he tips his head down to kiss the corner of her mouth.]
Should make a habit of it. Regularly, I mean.
[His face follows her hand wherever it goes, desperate for just an ounce more of affection.]
You could call me whatever you wanted, I think. [He huffs once, an almost awkward smile forming on his lips. His body shifts, another thrust pressing him further into her. Something molten coils within his gut, already dangerously hot.] Still - still doing ok?
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Date: 2026-03-19 04:23 am (UTC)Nicole turns her head to meet his lips, if only for a moment. ]
I wouldn't mind that.
[ Laughter blooms and redirects the heat, even as Varka pushes further into her. She feels it saturate her being, from every point of their contact. For one blinding breath, she wishes to never be separate from this warmth. The pleasure suffuses her so utterly that to imagine being without it… ]
Mmh. What would you – like for me to call you? Surely – such stuffy titles and formalities would no longer suit us, so –.
[ Though she knows that is not what he meant, she asks the question regardless. She wants to know what he will say.
That same pressure from earlier is building within her again. She does not want this to end prematurely; she wants to experience every inch of Varka, to the fullest amount that she can. The discomfort has transitioned into a feeling that seems almost insatiable. Though she is almost loathe to disrupt the fragility of this heartfelt moment, she almost cannot help herself. ]
I feel good. [ She sighs it into his mind, breathless and thready and needy. ] Better – better than good. I need all of you. Ideally, before it is too late.
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Date: 2026-03-19 04:35 am (UTC)The usual titles don't seem to fit us, huh? [Calling an angel his girlfriend, or she using the word boyfriend seemed so inappropriate, but nothing else comes to mind. Probably because most of the blood has left his brain by now.] Can I - take a rain check. Only because I don't want to say something stupid.
[And he's already said so many stupid things this evening, hasn't he?]
I know, I know. I'm working on it. [He's getting closer by now. Another thrust, another slide - and then a pause to shudder as another jolt rocks through him.] 'm almost there.
[In more ways than one. It's an incredibly humbling thing to admit, considering the way he might have normally bragged about his prowess and stamina. Being made to wait as long as he had had done a number on him, apparently!
Still, he manages to keep himself together as he moves forward that last little bit, bottoming out within her with a shuddering breath.]
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Date: 2026-03-19 04:47 am (UTC)Not – mmh. Not quite. I almost want to ask you to say what came to mind first, but –.
[ The more time she spends with Varka, the more about him she finds worth cherishing. The distracted sound of his voice, the furrow in his brow, the curl of his hair across his forehead as he exerts himself. The way his body shudders in pleasure. She treasures him. She wants, more than anything, to hide him away from even the distant eye of the Heavenly Principles. She wants him all for herself.
She's still laughing when he bottoms out, but the realization of it transitions the sound into a helpless, overcome moan. Her fingers trip over his face in search of a lifeline, anchoring at his jaw. Abruptly, all she can do is clutch at him, sensate and shuddering. ]
Oh –. [ She has to force her eyes open. She was unaware she had even closed them. Her abdomen tenses, and it sends a bolt of pleasure through her so sharp that she twitches. ] Yes – there you are. There you are.
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Date: 2026-03-19 04:59 am (UTC)You definitely - don't want that. I'd say something stupid.
[And he wants the right thing to come out, as far as Nicole goes.
While Nicole's fingers flail and find his face, now that he's no longer trying to guide himself in, he's able to seek out her hand. He tightens their fingers together, pressing them down against the mattress. He holds still for a moment, trying to both adjust and let her adjust in kind.]
Right here, Nicole. Always right here.
[It's a promise, in and of itself. He would not ask Nicole to give this without a commitment in kind. They're spiting the very gods, after all. She needed a promise that he'd remain with her.]
I'm gonna move now, okay?
[He doesn't keep her waiting. He draws himself out, then thrusts back in. It's a relatively slow motion, one to help her adjust to the sensation, rather than to drive her toward any sort of finish.]
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Date: 2026-03-19 05:10 am (UTC)She believes him. Against all odds, in spite of everything she has learned about humanity over the course of thousands of years, she wholeheartedly believes him. He had spoken their name to convince her of her freedom, and that he pledges himself to her now…
A true knight. Though a part of her almost wants to start laughing again, she is far too distracted to even consider it.
And even though he makes an effort to move slowly, she is so – full, and overwhelmed, and immersed in syrupy pleasure that she makes a sound that feels punched out of her regardless. Her shoulders and spine flex as she arches partway off the bed, unable to get much leverage due to the position of her legs.
It feels good. Better than his fingers inside her, or pressed down against her. He is everywhere, and it is perfect.
Before he can even begin to consider a second thrust, their connection is alive with the static of her stream of consciousness, shuddering and wanton. ]
You feel so, so, so perfect. It was worth the wait, worth everything, if you ever move from this bed I may very well set something alight, you are so very warm and utterly perfect and I did not realize how much I needed this until we were truly here. [ Then, strung together so quickly the syllables almost blur: ] Varka, Varka, Varka.
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Date: 2026-03-19 05:40 am (UTC)But one thing is for certain: the very fiber of his being swells beneath the chant of his name.]
Nicole. [His words are an echo in kind, each punctuated by a shallow thrust.] Nicole, Nicole.
[The cadence in his voice echoes her own sentiment, emotions not quite able to be put into proper words. Joy. Relief. Delight. There is also no denying the current of pleasure that pulses through them.]
Keep talking. I - [It sounds so embbarrassing, so humilating, but the least he can do is bare a part of himself in kind for the almost uncontrolled stream of consciousness flooding into his head.] I don't want to not hear your voice. Want you in the back of my head for as long as I can get it.
[Even if he does his best to simultaneously strike her speechless as he begins to set a proper rhythm, It isn't hard or fast, not yet — just a steady pace to put her through, well, the paces.]
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Date: 2026-03-19 06:10 am (UTC)He bids her to keep talking, and Nicole wonders if she would truly be capable of staying quiet. Varka may not be moving quickly, nor are his thrusts particularly deep as of yet, but the mere motion of his hips is striking her in places that her fingers could never reach.
With her head thrown back against the bed, she does as requested and speaks. Her voice is ragged already, shivering through the syllables as if he is plucking her down her very nerve endings. ]
It is – hard to focus as is, when you are moving like that. I never – never thought I would ever be able to experience something like this, and to experience it with such – such pleasure. You feel better than I ever could have imagined, better than –.
[ As if on cue, she finds herself clenching down around him. She wants him, wants all of him, wants to feel him lose control while buried deep within her. ]
Would it please you, to know the thought of this – bounced around in my head? That I have laid awake at night, scraping out seconds of windows of thoughts dedicated to how you might bed me? Perhaps – perhaps it was a little white lie, when I said I only – only ever explored myself to the thought of novels. Mmh.
[ Her voice takes on a distinctly teasing note, even as breathless as it is. ] I'll never tell.
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Date: 2026-03-19 06:41 am (UTC)Mmh, is that so? [The thought flits through his mind, and he lets out a deep groan. Thinking of her thinking of him with her fingers between her legs. It's almost enough to white out his vision, to crumble every bit of effort he's put into this whole affair.] Since when?
[Had it been back in Nod Krai? Or would that have been too risky? Had she turned her nose up at the threat and allowed herself an indulgence all the same? Or had it been here, rooms beside one another. If he had opened the door, could he have seen her at work?
Another shudder threatens his very balance. He needs to stop his mind from running.]
L-let me tell you. Stealing a moment away from camp, trying to find a quiet moment to think about you. And knowing that you and the others might just see - [That thought had thrilled him then, in the same vein that it had left him feeling ashamed.]
Better than I ever dreamed of though, that's for sure.
[The angle of his hips shifts, trying to drive himself in deeper with each motion.]
The way you say my name, your thoughts in my head - never could quite capture it just right.
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Date: 2026-03-19 07:01 am (UTC)Ultimately, she decides to be honest, if only because: her honestly will be just as attractive to him as the thought of her pleasuring herself to the idea of him, she surmises. After a few seconds of breathing unsteadily, she manages to work her mental voice up. ]
Since the moment you – accompanied the Traveler to come meet me in person, of course. That is why I – specified I was scraping out the seconds. Mnh. Shivering moments of squeezing my thighs together and trying to discern why I couldn't – focus. Eventually, well, push – push came to shove.
[ She gulps in air, face burning for two entirely different reasons. How shameless of her past self, she thinks, to be so bold about something so dangerous.
But, then… Varka was evidently doing the same. Near enough to camp for the threat of being caught to be a real possibility. Nicole's hand flexes against Varka's at the sudden crashing weight of renewed arousal. Ridiculously, she can feel herself get wetter around him. She clenches down at the exact moment he adjusts his angle, and –.
Oh. Whatever that is, whatever – sparkling lights practically bloom behind her eyelids, and Nicole doesn't quite moan as much as keen into their connection, writhing beneath his weight. She almost doesn't hear what he says, cannot quite thread together her mind enough to respond, because –. ]
O-oh, oh, um – I, am – tell me more. More, please.
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Date: 2026-03-19 07:30 am (UTC)Who wouldn't be awestruck in your presence. The second I felt your voice in my mind, I knew you were something else. And the way you'd chatter on - [He tilts his head, laying kisses against her pulse.] Never mind the way you overpowered me with kuuvahki like it was nothing.
[His mind had run wild with it that night. Everything had gone belly up shortly after, but for a blissful moment:]
It's hard to find someone who can keep pace with me. [He draws his lips up to her jaw, working a mark there. Maybe if she brushed her hair right, it wouldn't be obvious. Or maybe they'd have some explaining to do. He doesn't care about that in the moment though. He can practically feel how close she is.
And maybe he's dangerously close to the edge himself.]
I thought about how we might - exchange words. Then, hah - maybe you'd bring me to my knees. I'd win you over, in the end, but we'd both know - you had the edge.
[He isn't sure if she's after the fantasy, or the reality of it all. It's why he supplements them both.]
It wasn't even my night to skip drinking, but I did anyway. Once everyone was too trashed to think straight, I snuck out to the edge. Not toward the lake, that - that felt wrong. But around toward the entrance, tucked between an old wall and the ledge.
Honestly, it was way quicker than I would have liked. Ended too soon and... even afterward. [His lips reach her ear as he drags his hips back, then rocks them forward equally as slow. He's dragging out these last seconds as much as he can.] I still thought of you. I'd tuck each moment away, too.
Until now, the best I felt was after we freed the moon, though. I imagined - [His thoughts threaten to wander, his body tightens. Even now, the memory is a vivid one, now punctuated by each drag of his hips.] how your power felt - wrapped around me for days.
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Date: 2026-03-19 07:54 am (UTC)Nicole practically whines the moment his mouth is on her skin, torn between two counterpoints: the sound of his voice detailing his attraction to her and the rasp of his lips against her. In this moment, lit like a live wire and with nowhere to run, his stubble feels heavenly. She wants it all over her. She wants it between her legs. ]
I wish - I wish I had seen it. To see the stalwart, accomplished Grand Master, pleasuring himself to the thought of me - my better judgement wouldn’t have won out. Even there, even then, I would have - would have wanted you.
[ Her mind thrills with opportunity. She doesn’t even complain as he sucks a mark onto a dangerously visible patch of skin. She only moans encouragingly, clenching around him. More. More. She wants to have memories of this day for hours. A day. A week. She cannot imagine going minutes without this from now on, let alone a week, or a year, or a thousand years. She will leave this room thinking of the next moment they can be this entangled again.
His lips brush her ear. Nicole shudders down to her very soul. The slow grind of him within her cannot begin to forestall the inevitable, hurried along by the very thing she asked for. She starts to shake in aborted little shivers, open-mouthed, lashes fluttering.
There is one shred of information she parses amidst all over: he mentions her power enveloping him. With what feels like the final vestiges of her sanity, she pulses her power between the thread of their tightly interlocked hands. As it washes over him, she whimpers fervently into his mind: ]
Varka. Inside. Please.
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Date: 2026-03-19 05:08 pm (UTC)That alone might have been enough to make him succumb. Indeed, his movements stagger in the slightest, a ragged breath wheezing out through clenched teeth.
But then the power, her power floods through him, and Varka finds himself undone. It is a good thing that he already had a mind to do what she was asking — her words barely register within his mind. His hips manage to snap once, twice on instinct, and then he comes apart.
His fingers clench around hers on one side, and into the bedsheets on the other. The noise that escapes him is low, but almost keening. It forms something close to her name.]
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Date: 2026-03-22 04:29 am (UTC)The rebellion is nearly as sweet as the flood of warmth and the sound that Varka makes just shy of her ear. As she had wished, she crests into heat and brilliance nearly in tandem with him. She clenches down around him as he clenches round her fingers, head thrown back against the mattress as she shakes so hard she worries, briefly, for the bed.
The sensation is, somehow, better than the first orgasm had been. She is fuller now, wrapped so closely round Varka that the lines between them almost seem to blur. There is a beauty in it, in the feeling of oneness. It is one she has not come close to since…
Satisfaction untangles any snaring thoughts. Brief melancholy gives way, easily, to a suffusive afterglow. When she sags back against the sheets her limbs feel leaden in a way they never have before. The weakness is as novel as the unabating warmth in her belly. The hand not curled around Varka's blindly gropes down his neck and shoulders, tripping over the shape of his musculature. She has to mark this moment down in her memory. She has to remember every minute detail, even as her mind feels like it's been lined with cotton.
The connection is quiet, for once. Nicole simply breathes. ]
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Date: 2026-03-27 10:06 pm (UTC)Or maybe that's his own mind, whirling with satisfaction. Adoration. Closeness.
Regardless, the first thing he truly becomes aware of is the stumbling fingers down his back. A shiver works through him as his senses return, and he finds himself blinking down at the beautiful, blissful face of one Nicole Reeyn. He might have thought she couldn't look any more radiant, and yet here she is — perfect in every aspect.
He can't help himself. He leans down to kiss her, gentle and mostly chaste. Given the silence between the two of them, it might take her a moment to come to. That's fine by him. He'll dote on her until then — nosing stray hair from her face as he works kisses across every inch of her face.]
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