[ Nicole's mind is both analytical and fantastical on a good day, and obsessive on a bad one. It momentarily reels with possibility: was inflicting pain on Varka in this setting reinforcing a negative mindset for Varka?
She wants, beyond even the desire to protect layered into her being, this to be as positive an experience for him as it is for her. She wants to be solace. And maybe that, in of itself, is an arrogant thought – Varka did not need protecting, and she was incapable of giving it in the entirety that such a thought might warrant. But he deserved the kindness. The gentleness, too.
Confusion briefly misdirects her mind when his finger withdraws nearly entirely. That is shattered by a fluttering gasp when he thrusts back in, and she clenches round his finger with a panting breath. Already, a curious pressure builds in the bottom of her stomach that she cannot quite place. ]
Okay. [ She is sweet in her acquiescence. While the curiosity is still present, she understands not to press on this for the time being. She adjusts one of her hands to cradle his face. ] I want it to be good for you.
[ Nicole pauses, then makes a face that is dangerously close to sulking in spite of her otherwise obvious pleasure. Though she has been relatively easy to work with up until now, that infamous pride ekes out when she mumbles. ] I would like to be the best you've had.
We'll get there. For right now, I want you to enjoy what's in front of you. Hard ask of you, I know.
[With a mind as keen as Nicole's, he can only imagine what future she is spinning for the both of them. It flatters him, to know that she has enjoyed what he has to offer so much already. The fact that she already wants more, well. Varka has never balked at a fling, but that isn't what he wants this to be. It isn't what he wants Nicole to be.
Her inadvertent affirmation of that does wonders for his frame of mind. And any other lingering thoughts are carried away on the wind of that keening noise he makes within his mind.]
There you go. [A beat.] Now quit worrying about me and enjoy yourself. Sheesh, I'm working hard here to make it good for you right now.
[The words that spill into his mind next are, admittedly, surprising. He makes a note in the back of his mind. One day, he'll explain that Nicole will never be better than Crepus, and that Crepus was not better than her. That these things were all relative to one another. But that's opening a bit of a can of worms that he isn't ready for yet. Never mind the fact that it will not change the sentiment:]
[ Rather than take his scolding seriously, Nicole giggles.
It might be interspersed with the audible breaths she's taking and the soft sounds she is making telepathically, but it will ring clear nonetheless. It isn't that she isn't taking his bid for her to enjoy herself seriously; it is part of that genuine enjoyment that makes her laugh.
Her hips are flexing with more consistency now, mindlessly trying to move herself on Varka's finger. She isn't trying to rush – rather, eking out every sliver of pleasure from what she is currently being allowed. He wants to work her up to it, and she respects and appreciates it, but she assuredly wants more. ]
I am – enjoying myself. Talking to you is enjoyable. I do feel good. I feel – mmh, I feel good.
[ Her hand trembles on his face for all of a second. She adjusts her grip, then slides it backward to ineffectually try to tuck his hair behind his ear. It is genuinely affectionate, but she also simply wants to see more of his face. ]
Common sense. [ There is a vivid smile in her voice. Even if she does not know that she's committed somewhat of a faux pas! Luckily for the both of them, she does not elaborate on it further besides a faintly sighing admission. ] I am not trying to be fussy. You know how my mind works.
[It's the exact answer that he would have hoped for. He wants to hear her laugh, because it means she is focused on this moment. Whether it be his inane babbling about claymores or the affection being heaped on her, he wants to keep her mind right.
And while she may not be rushing, her eagerness is a good sign. Good enough that he adds just the faintest pressure of a second finger.]
That's good. Bet I could make you feel a lot better though. [He curls his finger this time as he draws it back out, then hesitates.] Think you're ready for more?
[She doesn't have to answer right away. She doesn't have to answer ever. He leans into her hand and thinks that he could be content with just this.
The good news is that in Varka's mind, though, her words weren't a faux pas. It's merely an acknowledgement of an assurance he should make later down the line. It's not urgent, and he isn't worried.]
I do. And that's why I know there's no one like you. And I enjoy you as you are.
[ Nicole's stomach curls with heat and delight and desire at the barest whisper of a suggestion of Varka hiding a second finger. She arches off the bed with a feathering exhale when he curls his finger as he pulls it free, briefly toying with the idea of clenching down to trap it within her. It lasts only as long as it takes for him to lean into her hand.
Borderline tenderly, she rubs her thumb over his cheek and up under his eye. The varying texture of his face fascinates her; the blue of his eyes, bright and cool like a cloudless spring day, holds her attention for longer.
She wonders what could ever be sinful about the appreciation of humans in this form. She wonders why she had to bear that weight for centuries.
Nicole reels his face closer to hers with a gently insistent pull so that she may kiss him again. While the ones prior had been pleasant, she pushes into this kiss with her heart in her throat and a deep desire to convey many layering emotions: her appreciation. Her want. A kindling affection. Respect. She parts her lips against his and curls her tongue against his mouth and settles for pouring into him the most that she can in one simple act.
When she withdraws, she is smiling. ]
Yes, I'm ready. I would also like to touch you.
[ Sweet sentiments were one thing. She is also equally riveted by his body. Her hands sweep down in tandem and… yes, she is grabbing a handful of his chest. The shape of it may be different, but it provides a handful all the same! ]
You said to focus on my enjoyment, but it's okay if this is part of it, right?
[ …Does she sound a little devious? Maybe! But she also says it so, so sweetly. ]
[As Nicole's hand drifts, Varka finds he cannot help himself. Before she reels him in for a kiss, he presses one, two, three against her palm, cherishing the silken softness that comes with each press of his lips. Against her skin, she might even feel how his breath quivers. She isn't the only one affected by their present affair, after all.
And maybe that shows all the more within the kiss she drags him into. His lips part beneath hers, accepting the intrusion gratefully. He shudders against her, and eventually lets out a sound dangerously close to a groan. Even after it ends, he barely has time to say anything — her hands drift down toward his chest and he finds himself letting out an almost ungainly noise beneath her touch.]
Warn a guy first! [She absolutely did. And to his credit, he isn't that bothered — a crooked grin sits on his lips.] N-not that I'm complaining, but sheesh!
[She's distracting him from important things, after all. The threat of a second finger is no longer just that — now that he has her permission, he presses inward. His movements slow to accommodate for the newer stretch, eyes roving over Nicole's form to watch for tension or hesitation.]
[ She finds she rather likes seeing Varka react. He is both exceptionally cute and exceptionally charming, after all. When his breath shakes, she revels in it. When he groans, her body reacts as if he is touching her. And when he makes a surprised sound when she grabs at his chest, her smile is both resplendent and utterly unrepentant. ]
You are very cute.
[ Nicole keeps him leveraged close even if it makes the introduction of a second finger difficult for him. It will be for his benefit: her lashes flutter blissfully at the stretch to accommodate him, and her mouth works around a sound she cannot quite make. She forces herself to relax even as her body yearns to press down into his fingers, or to clench around them. Her legs shake on either side of his knees from the effort.
Not a shred of tension or hesitation here beyond the obvious. She flattens her hands against his chest and rolls her palms down, rubbing over his nipples with the whole of her hands. Her body buzzes. ]
Varka, [ She sighs into their connection, practically dripping with desire. She flexes her hands against him, grinding the heels of her palms down. ] Varka.
[ How many fingers would it take for her to be able to take him? Was two enough? Three? She wants him. ]
[He tries to bite back, but it comes out through a grin and crinkled eyes. He can't stay mad at her, not when she smiles at him like that. He has a weakness shaped like Nicole Reeyn and he knows that she's well aware of it.
Even if Nicole does make his job here difficult. His fingers falter as she brushes her hands over his chest, and he finds himself shifting more to press his chest into her, rather than to make his own job easier. His breathing quivers, and he finds himself swearing under his breath.]
Nicole - [He can't even pretend to scold her. Instead he tries to narrow his focus back in, scissoring his fingers apart for her. At least with two, the concept of stretching her becomes easier. Three might have been preferable, but he can make it work like this.
Especially when Nicole is egging him on as she is.]
[ Another bout of laughter shakes free at Varka's shushing. She is hardly discouraged by the fact his fingers still momentarily beneath her touch. Rather, she is incredibly pleased to find that he is shifting further into his touch, wordlessly asking for more. A bloom of heat blossoms in her stomach at the sound of him cursing nearly inaudibly.
Again, her mind is struck by how much she wants him. How much she yearns for this to be as good for him as it is for her.
Speaking of good – when Varka spreads his fingers within her, the pleasure pulls her entirely away from the task at hand. Her head falls back against the mattress as her fingers start to quiver. The pressure in her pelvis, which had previously felt so far away, has abruptly become intimately, maddeningly close.
She senses she is at a kind of precipice. When she focuses on it, a moan, pitched higher than the ones prior by a noticeable margin, slips into the connection. Something is close – so perfectly close that when she clenches round Varka's fingers, he will likely feel how much wetter she has abruptly become. ]
I – um –. [ Her voice shakes. Her throat bobs tremblingly as she swallows. ] I – please.
[It doesn't take much for Varka to decipher what she's getting at. Watching her steadily begin to fall apart — once again he is reminded just how much he is holding back. Lightning shivers down his spine, pooling within his groin. Some part of him longed to be like that with her, reaching a climax in tandem just like her novels.
Well, at least there was next time. He certainly wasn't going to let Nicole out of his room without that. In that same vein, he doubted she would let him walk away without giving her what she wanted.]
You're close, right? [He leans down, gliding his lips over her neck, then up her chin. He kisses her once, then twice.] Go on, let me see.
[Maybe he can't join her in a literal sense, but he can keep them connected in his own way. His lips all but devour hers in a greedy kiss. She can't exactly moan into him, but at least the effect would be there.
All the while, his fingers pick up the pace, a careful dance between thrusts of his fingers and the grind of his palm against her clit. He even shifts his hand enough to cup against her breast. Nicole wanted to be his best, and it's a sentiment he can share. He wants to be hers in kind.]
[ The desire crystallizes. This seems the culmination of something incredibly, achingly important. Though she loathes having to do so for all of a moment, her hands and arms shift with a sudden burning need to loop them around Varka's neck. She clings to him with that same intensity that she had petitioned him with earlier, entirely unwilling to let him go for even a scant moment.
When he dives in to kiss her, Nicole responds eagerly in kind. His fingers move that bit faster and she shudders into him, feeling like – feeling like she was cracking apart. Feeling like his fingers were the ones cracking her, breaking her down into perfect, molten pieces. She keens into his mind as she arches into his touch, legs shaking on either side of him.
When it arrives, her entire body tenses like a strung bowstring. The tension snaps, releases: warmth and pleasure and gratitude wash over her in wave after dizzying wave, and Nicole shakes and breathes and understands. She is grateful for that moment that Varka spoke the Shades' names. She is grateful that he is here, the weight and warmth and smell of him, with his mouth on her.
It feels better than anything she could have imagined. When she finally recovers, it takes everything in her to not sag entirely back against the mattress. ]
Wow. [ Is the first word she is able to say. Then: ] Gosh.
[Yes, that's exactly what he wants. Her arms around him, as close as they can possibly be for this moment. Later there would be more, but for now, this is all he could possibly want.
The moment she comes apart is clear. Between the peal of her pleasure within his mind and the way her body tightens around him, then comes apart, it is easy enough to tell. Watching the journey of pleasure dance across her face is enough to send his blood pooling southward, to the point that he almost feels dizzied.
As Nicole comes down from her orgasm, Varka's movements slow. He does not stop entirely, a hint eager to tease her back to readiness. Likewise, while his target shifts, his kisses do not stop. He lays them across her cheeks, her brow, her nose.
[ There is a warmth in her body that she has never felt before, syrupy and molten and suffused down to her very bones. It is so deeply comfortable that, for a moment she wonders if she might fall asleep from it. Was this truly what it was like to achieve this kind of pleasure? Or was Varka's attentive ministrations the key?
Speaking of Varka and his ministrations: Nicole notices a few seconds too late that he is still moving his fingers within her. A faint noise leaves her as she clenches down round him, turning her head to press mindless, wandering kisses all over his face.
She is glad. If this had ended here… she desires more. She wants to see him, to be able to give him the same pleasure he's given her.
It takes a little longer for her to find her voice again in any meaningful capacity. When she does, the warmth in her tone could rival the Pyro she wields. ]
That was… really nice. Mmh. My body has never felt like this before. [ She pauses for a few seconds, then squeezes her arms round his neck mischievously. ] Does that mean I get to see it now…?
[To be wholly honest, Varka could be perfectly content, if things ended here. He's earned her gentle, wandering affection, which is certainly more than he could ever ask for. He sighs warmly into her touch, tilting his head every now and again to catch her lips.
But while he might be able to make himself settle, there's no denying that desire twists within him. The fact that Nicole remains so eager is enough to remind him of his own desire, even as he puffs out a laugh.]
Greedy, very greedy. [Still, his heart swells knowing that he has left her so satisfied, even winning out over her previous attempts. Score one for Varka.
At her urging, though, he does steadily sit backward, either dragging her with him or gently weaving out of her grip. His fingers carefully slide out of her, rising first to his mouth as he makes a show of tasting each finger — all without breaking eye contact. Indeed, his body shudders from even just a taste.
She is incredible, but surely that isn't surprising.
Only once he's satisfied, does he drop his hands to his pants. Thankfully, being that he has settled for the evening, he is divested of any additional accessories or, Barbatos forbid, his boots. It's only a belt and his pants that he needs to contend with, both of which are easily handled by himself, should Nicole deign to not help at all.]
[ Laughter comes easier. There is a comfort deep within her that loosens even her most deep-seated inhibitions. Varka calls her greedy and she is quick in her reply, though it is not to disprove his comment whatsoever. ]
If I am greedy, it is because you encouraged me to be so. You have made your bed and you will lie in it with me, thank you very much.
[ She cannot be deterred from maintaining her hold on him at least somewhat, so they do rise as a duo for at least a few seconds. She shakes with an uneven breath when his fingers pull free, and then shakes a second time, stronger, when Varka lifts his fingers to his mouth. Briefly, powerfully, she wonders what his mouth would feel like on her.
A thought for another time. Nicole eagerly joins her hands with his once they lower to his pants; she takes it as unspoken permission to do as she has wanted to for quite a while now, and undress him fully. She even goes so far as to bat his hands aside so she can attack his belt on her own.
…Though perhaps it would have been best to let him handle it. As soon as she gets his pants open enough to fit her hand in, in said hand goes. She pauses as if frozen solid before her hand gets past his waistband, looking up at him wide-eyed. After he had gone through such effort to make sure she was comfortable with him touching her, she had nearly barreled past all social convention in her eagerness! ]
Ah – I'm sorry, I didn't wait! Excuse my poor manners. Is it okay if I…?
[Varka is laughing even before Nicole speaks. The eagerness had been both amusing and endearing, and he hadn't planned to complain. Given how the night has gone, and the fact that he was rpactically inviting her to get "hands on," so to speak might well have been a silent invitation, but Varka is more than happy to vocalize it.
It's not like he's going to discourage good behavior.]
Yeah, yeah. Just - go easy on me! Don't get all rough because you're so excited.
[Judging by the mirth in his voice, he doesn't actually think there will be a problem. But he has to get a few jabs in first, before the quivering in his body gets the better of him. With even the barest possibility of release on the horizon, Varka can't quite help himself. In fact, he finds his body rising to push into her touch.]
I'm sensitive, you know!
[Which... that part probably isn't exaggeration, considering his current predicament. He's been at the ready for some time now, after all.]
[ "Go easy on him." Right, she can do that. She is going to take that so literally that you are likely to regret it, Varka.
Rather than immediately push her hand down again, Nicole instead takes the conscious effort to remove Varka's belt and undo his pants properly. She pushes them down enough to give herself proper access, until she is face to face with the final barrier of clothing between herself and Varka. ]
I am not a misbehaving brute, you know. I think I have been very well-behaved this whole time, as a matter of fact.
[ Even clothed, it is obvious enough that Varka is… proportionate. Nicole's mouth does not quite go dry, but it is a close thing. Her hand practically gravitates towards him, tracing over the clothed shape of him with delicate fingers. The heat, the solidness… though Varka's fingers had felt good, better than she could have anticipated, she knows without a shadow of a doubt that this would feel demonstrably better.
Nicole's eyes have that look in them again: that earlier intensity, but with a far narrower focus. She fits her hand against him through fabric, staring up with eyes that are borderline sparkling. She shifts closer, molding the front of her body against Varka's the best she's able to given their positioning. ]
Never said you were! [He tries to pretend that his body shakes with just desire as he shifts, eager to divest his pants entirely. Like the rest of their clothing, it is thrust aside from the time being, off into some nameless pile at the end of the bed.] But you are very eager! And this is all new to you. Have you ever seen one of these things before?
[What a... graceful way of putting it. But hey, expecting grace out of him, especially right now, was a hefty ask considering their circumstances. It's little wonder he doesn't outright grown as her fingers trace over him. Even muted as her touch is through the fabric of his underclothes, it's more than he's gotten all night.]
Barbatos, [He finds himself hissing, before realizing... maybe he shouldn't be invoking the pesky archon at a time like this. He can practically hear the ehe~, which threatens to dampen the mood -
Oh, but her hand solidly fitting around him, and her body pressing up against him — he's quick to abandon one train of thought for this one.]
Y-yeah, I mean - if you're asking. And ready, and - [He has to swallow hard. His mouth feels dry. His head is swimming.]
Didn't I say something about being careful?
[She's barely touched him, but he still feels as if he's coming apart at the seams.]
I haven't! At least, not in this setting. But how different could it be in comparison to handling the other parts of you?
[ She says it so confidently, so brightly, that it will surely put his mind at ease! Nicole is borderline giddy now. Her first orgasm, and her afterglow, have awarded her some measure of control over her thoughts. It also helps immensely that he is no longer touching her. That had proven to be incredibly distracting.
When he invokes Barbatos' name, Nicole simply giggles. Varka's struggle is incredibly endearing and… incredibly attractive. The fact he nearly agrees so readily to her request is proof of the fact that he had been enduring his own desire to attend to hers.
With that thought in mind, Nicole uses both hands to divest him of that final layer. Though she has to lean away in order to do so, she is quick to fit herself back against him. Though she only has a budding idea of the concept of seduction, she knows that the warmth of her naked body against his will be more than serviceable.
Even more effective, most likely, will be how she angles herself to grind against his thigh. The sensation is – she sighs breathlessly, reaching down to curl her hand around him properly. Or, at least as much as she is able. The fact she cannot entirely encircle him with her fingers… ]
You did. Did you want to prepare me some more?
[ Okay, maybe she's being a bit mean. It's hard to resist! ]
[Varka is rapidly losing control of the situation. Not a bad thing, necsessarily — he appreciates that Nicole's confidence has been bolstered. But at the same time, it's keeping him from putting on the moves properly. He had plans for how this was going to go and -
Static floods into his mind as she curls around him, followed by a disorienting wave of desire as her body slides against his. He almost doesn't process how she teases him, lost in a half-cooked fantasy as he is. He is half tempted to lift her up and take her like this, solely within his arms but -
No, no that wouldn't be proper. That isn't what he wants.
Instead, he wraps an arm around her waist, bringing her firmly to his body as he all but flops onto the bed. He uses his free arm to brace himself, hopefully keeping from squashing Nicole entirely. But at least this way, the advantage is his once again.]
No, no. I think you're plenty prepared. Plenty - ready for me.
[It takes remarkably little strength to position her once more, legs once against pushed apart by his own. He leans up, taking hold of himself properly. Even his own touch elicits a shiver from him, and he has to breathe deep to clear the haze in his mind.
Only then does he guide himself forward, sliding teasingly once, then twice against her, before positioning himself properly.]
[ Any pretense of feeling apologetic for derailing Varka's carefully laid intentions goes firmly by the wayside when he drags her against him. The hard line of his forearm pressing against her skin, firm and unyielding, would be more than enough to whet her appetite without the forward motion immediately after. Nicole gasps as she is effectively pinned to the bed beneath Varka's body weight.
Breathless laughter leaves her before she can entirely stop it. Varka's impatience is both a balm to her senses and a lit match held to her nerves. He wants her as sorely as she wants him. He cannot bear to wait a moment longer, the same as her. ]
Good –. [ She gasps, trying and failing to not sound as accomplished as she feels. ] I thought so too.
[ She moans for the simple sake of it when his legs push hers apart. Though she would never have imagined it prior to this night spent together, the sheer difference in their respective volume and physical strength does excite her.
How easily Varka had trapped her beneath him, had shoved her open so he could regain his control over the situation…
Her head spins. The first brush of him only exacerbates it: warm and heady, weighty enough that if she could flex her hips just right she could surely coax him in… a frustrated sound ekes into their connection as she struggles to writhe, hair shifting across the sheets.
[The faint under current of smugness that layers Nicole's voice should irritate him. Instead, he feels only playful exasperation. It's hard not to, when he has the upper hand, even if part of him knows he's played right to Nicole's plans. He doesn't mind being pulled by her strings, though. Not when it works out so well for him.]
Please - what?
[It's hard for him to keep his composure, pressed against her as he is. If he wanted to, he could drive himself home. Instead, he opts to tease - shallow brushes that barely so much as enter her. And if it works to his advantage in further loosening her, that's all the better. He is, after all, very aware of his size.]
Always so good with your words, Nicole. Lemme hear em now.
[Some part of him balks at his own teasing, for it only thins his already fraying resolve. But it's worth it. He wants to hear her say it.]
[ It is to his credit that he is not irritated, because Nicole makes a sound that is dangerously close to an exasperated, thready whine when Varka rocks forward and… only skims over her entrance. For every individual time that he shifts his hips and slips against her, Nicole makes an increasingly demanding noise and, as desired, becomes a small amount looser. Even if she tries to clench around open air every time he comes close.
Consternation and exertion both knit her brow. It is hard to truly feel exasperated when this all still feels this good… and especially when the timbre of Varka's voice suits that exact type of teasing so well.
She makes a mental note of it. Maybe she could convince him to read a set of lines she writes out… but, would it have the same devastating impact when they were clearly contrived? Perhaps it was simply better to request he say lines that came from the heart – or, in this regard, somewhere a bit southward of the heart.
Focus, Nicole! She forces herself to exhale, slow and shivery. Embarrassment and desire war in equal measure. It is a simple request, on paper… but with his attention so riveted on her, and his body so close… and his expectations sounded high! What if she failed to entice in the exact proper moment that required it? ]
Please, Varka… [ Oh, gosh, how embarrassing. Her voice almost sounds weak from want even to her own mental ears. ] Won't you… please, take me? I need you. I need this. Show me – what I can have, now that we are free?
[He should have known he was playing a dangerous game, asking for this. Not only does he feel strung tighter than a bowstring, but Nicole's words also strike a deep-seated emotion within him. After all, this is more than a heated, physical affair. Varka wouldn't be here if not for his feelings for her.
He wouldn't have risked his very life invoking the names of the shades to prove they were safe, after all.
So the fact that she mentions their freedom, the very thing he's written stories about within his head? How can he say no. Doubtless, Nicole will see that resolve crumble in real time, a level of vulnerability plain in his gaze before he averts it once more.]
Like I said. Anything for you, Nicole.
[He does not keep her waiting.... much. Though he moves forward, the pace is still steady and careful. He will not have it be said that he let his emotions get the better of him. He will not let Nicole walk away from this having felt unpleasant at any moment.
Even if it is difficult. He clutches at the bed beside Nicole's head, suppressing a shudder as he moves. It's a wonder he does not tear holes in the sheets right about now.]
[ In many ways, it is a relief to see that it is her heartfelt feelings that shatter the guise of his teasing. In the breath of a moment that she is able to pinpoint the emotion in his eyes, Nicole feels more at ease than she has likely ever felt.
If his touch earlier had felt like a culmination, this is a realization. A promise. Varka starts to push inward and the stretch of him is unlike anything she has felt. Even the pretense of his fingers, as careful and exacting as he had been about his preparation, could not truly prepare her for this.
She regrets nothing. She forces her breathing to slow, forces herself to relax: she wants to accept every inch of him as wholeheartedly as she can, without an iota of hesitation. He takes his time and she provides no resistance to make the slide that much easier for him. Though the discomfort is far more significant than it had been with his fingers, she knows without a shred of doubt that it will be worth it.
…Besides, Varka's visible struggle is also stroking her just the right way. The veins in his forearms, the white-knuckled grip on the sheets… she curls her fingers around his wrists and sighs, the sound fluttering and earnest and wanton. ]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2026-03-14 05:04 pm (UTC)[ Nicole's mind is both analytical and fantastical on a good day, and obsessive on a bad one. It momentarily reels with possibility: was inflicting pain on Varka in this setting reinforcing a negative mindset for Varka?
She wants, beyond even the desire to protect layered into her being, this to be as positive an experience for him as it is for her. She wants to be solace. And maybe that, in of itself, is an arrogant thought – Varka did not need protecting, and she was incapable of giving it in the entirety that such a thought might warrant. But he deserved the kindness. The gentleness, too.
Confusion briefly misdirects her mind when his finger withdraws nearly entirely. That is shattered by a fluttering gasp when he thrusts back in, and she clenches round his finger with a panting breath. Already, a curious pressure builds in the bottom of her stomach that she cannot quite place. ]
Okay. [ She is sweet in her acquiescence. While the curiosity is still present, she understands not to press on this for the time being. She adjusts one of her hands to cradle his face. ] I want it to be good for you.
[ Nicole pauses, then makes a face that is dangerously close to sulking in spite of her otherwise obvious pleasure. Though she has been relatively easy to work with up until now, that infamous pride ekes out when she mumbles. ] I would like to be the best you've had.
no subject
Date: 2026-03-14 08:38 pm (UTC)[With a mind as keen as Nicole's, he can only imagine what future she is spinning for the both of them. It flatters him, to know that she has enjoyed what he has to offer so much already. The fact that she already wants more, well. Varka has never balked at a fling, but that isn't what he wants this to be. It isn't what he wants Nicole to be.
Her inadvertent affirmation of that does wonders for his frame of mind. And any other lingering thoughts are carried away on the wind of that keening noise he makes within his mind.]
There you go. [A beat.] Now quit worrying about me and enjoy yourself. Sheesh, I'm working hard here to make it good for you right now.
[The words that spill into his mind next are, admittedly, surprising. He makes a note in the back of his mind. One day, he'll explain that Nicole will never be better than Crepus, and that Crepus was not better than her. That these things were all relative to one another. But that's opening a bit of a can of worms that he isn't ready for yet. Never mind the fact that it will not change the sentiment:]
What makes you think you aren't already?
no subject
Date: 2026-03-14 10:30 pm (UTC)It might be interspersed with the audible breaths she's taking and the soft sounds she is making telepathically, but it will ring clear nonetheless. It isn't that she isn't taking his bid for her to enjoy herself seriously; it is part of that genuine enjoyment that makes her laugh.
Her hips are flexing with more consistency now, mindlessly trying to move herself on Varka's finger. She isn't trying to rush – rather, eking out every sliver of pleasure from what she is currently being allowed. He wants to work her up to it, and she respects and appreciates it, but she assuredly wants more. ]
I am – enjoying myself. Talking to you is enjoyable. I do feel good. I feel – mmh, I feel good.
[ Her hand trembles on his face for all of a second. She adjusts her grip, then slides it backward to ineffectually try to tuck his hair behind his ear. It is genuinely affectionate, but she also simply wants to see more of his face. ]
Common sense. [ There is a vivid smile in her voice. Even if she does not know that she's committed somewhat of a faux pas! Luckily for the both of them, she does not elaborate on it further besides a faintly sighing admission. ] I am not trying to be fussy. You know how my mind works.
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Date: 2026-03-14 11:46 pm (UTC)And while she may not be rushing, her eagerness is a good sign. Good enough that he adds just the faintest pressure of a second finger.]
That's good. Bet I could make you feel a lot better though. [He curls his finger this time as he draws it back out, then hesitates.] Think you're ready for more?
[She doesn't have to answer right away. She doesn't have to answer ever. He leans into her hand and thinks that he could be content with just this.
The good news is that in Varka's mind, though, her words weren't a faux pas. It's merely an acknowledgement of an assurance he should make later down the line. It's not urgent, and he isn't worried.]
I do. And that's why I know there's no one like you. And I enjoy you as you are.
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Date: 2026-03-15 01:40 am (UTC)Borderline tenderly, she rubs her thumb over his cheek and up under his eye. The varying texture of his face fascinates her; the blue of his eyes, bright and cool like a cloudless spring day, holds her attention for longer.
She wonders what could ever be sinful about the appreciation of humans in this form. She wonders why she had to bear that weight for centuries.
Nicole reels his face closer to hers with a gently insistent pull so that she may kiss him again. While the ones prior had been pleasant, she pushes into this kiss with her heart in her throat and a deep desire to convey many layering emotions: her appreciation. Her want. A kindling affection. Respect. She parts her lips against his and curls her tongue against his mouth and settles for pouring into him the most that she can in one simple act.
When she withdraws, she is smiling. ]
Yes, I'm ready. I would also like to touch you.
[ Sweet sentiments were one thing. She is also equally riveted by his body. Her hands sweep down in tandem and… yes, she is grabbing a handful of his chest. The shape of it may be different, but it provides a handful all the same! ]
You said to focus on my enjoyment, but it's okay if this is part of it, right?
[ …Does she sound a little devious? Maybe! But she also says it so, so sweetly. ]
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Date: 2026-03-15 02:00 am (UTC)And maybe that shows all the more within the kiss she drags him into. His lips part beneath hers, accepting the intrusion gratefully. He shudders against her, and eventually lets out a sound dangerously close to a groan. Even after it ends, he barely has time to say anything — her hands drift down toward his chest and he finds himself letting out an almost ungainly noise beneath her touch.]
Warn a guy first! [She absolutely did. And to his credit, he isn't that bothered — a crooked grin sits on his lips.] N-not that I'm complaining, but sheesh!
[She's distracting him from important things, after all. The threat of a second finger is no longer just that — now that he has her permission, he presses inward. His movements slow to accommodate for the newer stretch, eyes roving over Nicole's form to watch for tension or hesitation.]
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Date: 2026-03-15 02:14 am (UTC)You are very cute.
[ Nicole keeps him leveraged close even if it makes the introduction of a second finger difficult for him. It will be for his benefit: her lashes flutter blissfully at the stretch to accommodate him, and her mouth works around a sound she cannot quite make. She forces herself to relax even as her body yearns to press down into his fingers, or to clench around them. Her legs shake on either side of his knees from the effort.
Not a shred of tension or hesitation here beyond the obvious. She flattens her hands against his chest and rolls her palms down, rubbing over his nipples with the whole of her hands. Her body buzzes. ]
Varka, [ She sighs into their connection, practically dripping with desire. She flexes her hands against him, grinding the heels of her palms down. ] Varka.
[ How many fingers would it take for her to be able to take him? Was two enough? Three? She wants him. ]
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Date: 2026-03-15 03:16 am (UTC)[He tries to bite back, but it comes out through a grin and crinkled eyes. He can't stay mad at her, not when she smiles at him like that. He has a weakness shaped like Nicole Reeyn and he knows that she's well aware of it.
Even if Nicole does make his job here difficult. His fingers falter as she brushes her hands over his chest, and he finds himself shifting more to press his chest into her, rather than to make his own job easier. His breathing quivers, and he finds himself swearing under his breath.]
Nicole - [He can't even pretend to scold her. Instead he tries to narrow his focus back in, scissoring his fingers apart for her. At least with two, the concept of stretching her becomes easier. Three might have been preferable, but he can make it work like this.
Especially when Nicole is egging him on as she is.]
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Date: 2026-03-15 07:10 am (UTC)Again, her mind is struck by how much she wants him. How much she yearns for this to be as good for him as it is for her.
Speaking of good – when Varka spreads his fingers within her, the pleasure pulls her entirely away from the task at hand. Her head falls back against the mattress as her fingers start to quiver. The pressure in her pelvis, which had previously felt so far away, has abruptly become intimately, maddeningly close.
She senses she is at a kind of precipice. When she focuses on it, a moan, pitched higher than the ones prior by a noticeable margin, slips into the connection. Something is close – so perfectly close that when she clenches round Varka's fingers, he will likely feel how much wetter she has abruptly become. ]
I – um –. [ Her voice shakes. Her throat bobs tremblingly as she swallows. ] I – please.
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Date: 2026-03-15 07:16 am (UTC)Well, at least there was next time. He certainly wasn't going to let Nicole out of his room without that. In that same vein, he doubted she would let him walk away without giving her what she wanted.]
You're close, right? [He leans down, gliding his lips over her neck, then up her chin. He kisses her once, then twice.] Go on, let me see.
[Maybe he can't join her in a literal sense, but he can keep them connected in his own way. His lips all but devour hers in a greedy kiss. She can't exactly moan into him, but at least the effect would be there.
All the while, his fingers pick up the pace, a careful dance between thrusts of his fingers and the grind of his palm against her clit. He even shifts his hand enough to cup against her breast. Nicole wanted to be his best, and it's a sentiment he can share. He wants to be hers in kind.]
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Date: 2026-03-15 07:34 am (UTC)When he dives in to kiss her, Nicole responds eagerly in kind. His fingers move that bit faster and she shudders into him, feeling like – feeling like she was cracking apart. Feeling like his fingers were the ones cracking her, breaking her down into perfect, molten pieces. She keens into his mind as she arches into his touch, legs shaking on either side of him.
When it arrives, her entire body tenses like a strung bowstring. The tension snaps, releases: warmth and pleasure and gratitude wash over her in wave after dizzying wave, and Nicole shakes and breathes and understands. She is grateful for that moment that Varka spoke the Shades' names. She is grateful that he is here, the weight and warmth and smell of him, with his mouth on her.
It feels better than anything she could have imagined. When she finally recovers, it takes everything in her to not sag entirely back against the mattress. ]
Wow. [ Is the first word she is able to say. Then: ] Gosh.
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Date: 2026-03-15 07:40 am (UTC)The moment she comes apart is clear. Between the peal of her pleasure within his mind and the way her body tightens around him, then comes apart, it is easy enough to tell. Watching the journey of pleasure dance across her face is enough to send his blood pooling southward, to the point that he almost feels dizzied.
As Nicole comes down from her orgasm, Varka's movements slow. He does not stop entirely, a hint eager to tease her back to readiness. Likewise, while his target shifts, his kisses do not stop. He lays them across her cheeks, her brow, her nose.
When she speaks, his laughter is light but warm.]
Gosh? That's all I get? Tough crowd!
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Date: 2026-03-15 03:37 pm (UTC)Speaking of Varka and his ministrations: Nicole notices a few seconds too late that he is still moving his fingers within her. A faint noise leaves her as she clenches down round him, turning her head to press mindless, wandering kisses all over his face.
She is glad. If this had ended here… she desires more. She wants to see him, to be able to give him the same pleasure he's given her.
It takes a little longer for her to find her voice again in any meaningful capacity. When she does, the warmth in her tone could rival the Pyro she wields. ]
That was… really nice. Mmh. My body has never felt like this before. [ She pauses for a few seconds, then squeezes her arms round his neck mischievously. ] Does that mean I get to see it now…?
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Date: 2026-03-15 06:50 pm (UTC)But while he might be able to make himself settle, there's no denying that desire twists within him. The fact that Nicole remains so eager is enough to remind him of his own desire, even as he puffs out a laugh.]
Greedy, very greedy. [Still, his heart swells knowing that he has left her so satisfied, even winning out over her previous attempts. Score one for Varka.
At her urging, though, he does steadily sit backward, either dragging her with him or gently weaving out of her grip. His fingers carefully slide out of her, rising first to his mouth as he makes a show of tasting each finger — all without breaking eye contact. Indeed, his body shudders from even just a taste.
She is incredible, but surely that isn't surprising.
Only once he's satisfied, does he drop his hands to his pants. Thankfully, being that he has settled for the evening, he is divested of any additional accessories or, Barbatos forbid, his boots. It's only a belt and his pants that he needs to contend with, both of which are easily handled by himself, should Nicole deign to not help at all.]
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Date: 2026-03-15 08:28 pm (UTC)If I am greedy, it is because you encouraged me to be so. You have made your bed and you will lie in it with me, thank you very much.
[ She cannot be deterred from maintaining her hold on him at least somewhat, so they do rise as a duo for at least a few seconds. She shakes with an uneven breath when his fingers pull free, and then shakes a second time, stronger, when Varka lifts his fingers to his mouth. Briefly, powerfully, she wonders what his mouth would feel like on her.
A thought for another time. Nicole eagerly joins her hands with his once they lower to his pants; she takes it as unspoken permission to do as she has wanted to for quite a while now, and undress him fully. She even goes so far as to bat his hands aside so she can attack his belt on her own.
…Though perhaps it would have been best to let him handle it. As soon as she gets his pants open enough to fit her hand in, in said hand goes. She pauses as if frozen solid before her hand gets past his waistband, looking up at him wide-eyed. After he had gone through such effort to make sure she was comfortable with him touching her, she had nearly barreled past all social convention in her eagerness! ]
Ah – I'm sorry, I didn't wait! Excuse my poor manners. Is it okay if I…?
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Date: 2026-03-15 08:45 pm (UTC)It's not like he's going to discourage good behavior.]
Yeah, yeah. Just - go easy on me! Don't get all rough because you're so excited.
[Judging by the mirth in his voice, he doesn't actually think there will be a problem. But he has to get a few jabs in first, before the quivering in his body gets the better of him. With even the barest possibility of release on the horizon, Varka can't quite help himself. In fact, he finds his body rising to push into her touch.]
I'm sensitive, you know!
[Which... that part probably isn't exaggeration, considering his current predicament. He's been at the ready for some time now, after all.]
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Date: 2026-03-15 09:04 pm (UTC)Rather than immediately push her hand down again, Nicole instead takes the conscious effort to remove Varka's belt and undo his pants properly. She pushes them down enough to give herself proper access, until she is face to face with the final barrier of clothing between herself and Varka. ]
I am not a misbehaving brute, you know. I think I have been very well-behaved this whole time, as a matter of fact.
[ Even clothed, it is obvious enough that Varka is… proportionate. Nicole's mouth does not quite go dry, but it is a close thing. Her hand practically gravitates towards him, tracing over the clothed shape of him with delicate fingers. The heat, the solidness… though Varka's fingers had felt good, better than she could have anticipated, she knows without a shadow of a doubt that this would feel demonstrably better.
Nicole's eyes have that look in them again: that earlier intensity, but with a far narrower focus. She fits her hand against him through fabric, staring up with eyes that are borderline sparkling. She shifts closer, molding the front of her body against Varka's the best she's able to given their positioning. ]
You'll put it in, right?
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Date: 2026-03-15 09:19 pm (UTC)[What a... graceful way of putting it. But hey, expecting grace out of him, especially right now, was a hefty ask considering their circumstances. It's little wonder he doesn't outright grown as her fingers trace over him. Even muted as her touch is through the fabric of his underclothes, it's more than he's gotten all night.]
Barbatos, [He finds himself hissing, before realizing... maybe he shouldn't be invoking the pesky archon at a time like this. He can practically hear the ehe~, which threatens to dampen the mood -
Oh, but her hand solidly fitting around him, and her body pressing up against him — he's quick to abandon one train of thought for this one.]
Y-yeah, I mean - if you're asking. And ready, and - [He has to swallow hard. His mouth feels dry. His head is swimming.]
Didn't I say something about being careful?
[She's barely touched him, but he still feels as if he's coming apart at the seams.]
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Date: 2026-03-15 09:32 pm (UTC)[ She says it so confidently, so brightly, that it will surely put his mind at ease! Nicole is borderline giddy now. Her first orgasm, and her afterglow, have awarded her some measure of control over her thoughts. It also helps immensely that he is no longer touching her. That had proven to be incredibly distracting.
When he invokes Barbatos' name, Nicole simply giggles. Varka's struggle is incredibly endearing and… incredibly attractive. The fact he nearly agrees so readily to her request is proof of the fact that he had been enduring his own desire to attend to hers.
With that thought in mind, Nicole uses both hands to divest him of that final layer. Though she has to lean away in order to do so, she is quick to fit herself back against him. Though she only has a budding idea of the concept of seduction, she knows that the warmth of her naked body against his will be more than serviceable.
Even more effective, most likely, will be how she angles herself to grind against his thigh. The sensation is – she sighs breathlessly, reaching down to curl her hand around him properly. Or, at least as much as she is able. The fact she cannot entirely encircle him with her fingers… ]
You did. Did you want to prepare me some more?
[ Okay, maybe she's being a bit mean. It's hard to resist! ]
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Date: 2026-03-15 10:30 pm (UTC)Static floods into his mind as she curls around him, followed by a disorienting wave of desire as her body slides against his. He almost doesn't process how she teases him, lost in a half-cooked fantasy as he is. He is half tempted to lift her up and take her like this, solely within his arms but -
No, no that wouldn't be proper. That isn't what he wants.
Instead, he wraps an arm around her waist, bringing her firmly to his body as he all but flops onto the bed. He uses his free arm to brace himself, hopefully keeping from squashing Nicole entirely. But at least this way, the advantage is his once again.]
No, no. I think you're plenty prepared. Plenty - ready for me.
[It takes remarkably little strength to position her once more, legs once against pushed apart by his own. He leans up, taking hold of himself properly. Even his own touch elicits a shiver from him, and he has to breathe deep to clear the haze in his mind.
Only then does he guide himself forward, sliding teasingly once, then twice against her, before positioning himself properly.]
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Date: 2026-03-15 11:20 pm (UTC)Breathless laughter leaves her before she can entirely stop it. Varka's impatience is both a balm to her senses and a lit match held to her nerves. He wants her as sorely as she wants him. He cannot bear to wait a moment longer, the same as her. ]
Good –. [ She gasps, trying and failing to not sound as accomplished as she feels. ] I thought so too.
[ She moans for the simple sake of it when his legs push hers apart. Though she would never have imagined it prior to this night spent together, the sheer difference in their respective volume and physical strength does excite her.
How easily Varka had trapped her beneath him, had shoved her open so he could regain his control over the situation…
Her head spins. The first brush of him only exacerbates it: warm and heady, weighty enough that if she could flex her hips just right she could surely coax him in… a frustrated sound ekes into their connection as she struggles to writhe, hair shifting across the sheets.
When he slides a second time, she moans again. ]
Please.
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Date: 2026-03-15 11:35 pm (UTC)Please - what?
[It's hard for him to keep his composure, pressed against her as he is. If he wanted to, he could drive himself home. Instead, he opts to tease - shallow brushes that barely so much as enter her. And if it works to his advantage in further loosening her, that's all the better. He is, after all, very aware of his size.]
Always so good with your words, Nicole. Lemme hear em now.
[Some part of him balks at his own teasing, for it only thins his already fraying resolve. But it's worth it. He wants to hear her say it.]
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Date: 2026-03-15 11:54 pm (UTC)Consternation and exertion both knit her brow. It is hard to truly feel exasperated when this all still feels this good… and especially when the timbre of Varka's voice suits that exact type of teasing so well.
She makes a mental note of it. Maybe she could convince him to read a set of lines she writes out… but, would it have the same devastating impact when they were clearly contrived? Perhaps it was simply better to request he say lines that came from the heart – or, in this regard, somewhere a bit southward of the heart.
Focus, Nicole! She forces herself to exhale, slow and shivery. Embarrassment and desire war in equal measure. It is a simple request, on paper… but with his attention so riveted on her, and his body so close… and his expectations sounded high! What if she failed to entice in the exact proper moment that required it? ]
Please, Varka… [ Oh, gosh, how embarrassing. Her voice almost sounds weak from want even to her own mental ears. ] Won't you… please, take me? I need you. I need this. Show me – what I can have, now that we are free?
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Date: 2026-03-16 12:36 am (UTC)He wouldn't have risked his very life invoking the names of the shades to prove they were safe, after all.
So the fact that she mentions their freedom, the very thing he's written stories about within his head? How can he say no. Doubtless, Nicole will see that resolve crumble in real time, a level of vulnerability plain in his gaze before he averts it once more.]
Like I said. Anything for you, Nicole.
[He does not keep her waiting.... much. Though he moves forward, the pace is still steady and careful. He will not have it be said that he let his emotions get the better of him. He will not let Nicole walk away from this having felt unpleasant at any moment.
Even if it is difficult. He clutches at the bed beside Nicole's head, suppressing a shudder as he moves. It's a wonder he does not tear holes in the sheets right about now.]
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Date: 2026-03-16 01:12 am (UTC)If his touch earlier had felt like a culmination, this is a realization. A promise. Varka starts to push inward and the stretch of him is unlike anything she has felt. Even the pretense of his fingers, as careful and exacting as he had been about his preparation, could not truly prepare her for this.
She regrets nothing. She forces her breathing to slow, forces herself to relax: she wants to accept every inch of him as wholeheartedly as she can, without an iota of hesitation. He takes his time and she provides no resistance to make the slide that much easier for him. Though the discomfort is far more significant than it had been with his fingers, she knows without a shred of doubt that it will be worth it.
…Besides, Varka's visible struggle is also stroking her just the right way. The veins in his forearms, the white-knuckled grip on the sheets… she curls her fingers around his wrists and sighs, the sound fluttering and earnest and wanton. ]
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